Why Sansuiri should never overdose…

It was a lovely Thursday afternoon and Sansuiri Kamizuru was currently getting high off of his special supply of plasma pills. He was staring into the sky with a dreamy look on his face. A few feet away from him stood a brunette and a black haired girl.


“Should we tell him to stop?” the brunette asked cautiously. There was always trouble when he got like this, especially since last time when he ended up in a bar. Both girls remembered that well, they had it recorded somewhere. Now they just had to post it on Youtube.


“Nah, he’ll stop soon,” the black haired girl replied.


“Whatever you say Becky...” Both of the girls continued to stare at Sansuiri for another ten minutes he had just pulled out the tenth bottle of pills from his pocket. “Where does he keep all those pills Tsuyu?”  Becky asked.


“I’m his cousin and yet I have absolutely no idea,” Tsuyu shook her head sadly. Suddenly Sansuiri fell to the ground and began twitching. Becky and Tsuyu backed away slowly. After twenty minutes Sansuiri’s body stopped moving.


“Is he alright?” Tsuyu shrugged and went over to the motionless body. Then she activated her Eseigan.


“Holy shit! He’s dead!”  Tsuyu shrieked. Becky’s mouth dropped open.


“Really?” Becky ran over to the cousins and kicked Sansuiri in the face. He didn’t move. “Oh I guess he is.” She said.


“Whoa what happened?” someone asked. The duo looked up to see Shikaru1415 and owleyes101 staring at the body.


“He overdosed big time,” Tsuyu replied somewhat shaken whisper she paused before adding, “What are we going to do with the body?”


“How about we flush it?” owleyes asked speaking up. Tsuyu shook her head.


“Nah the toilet wouldn’t like that,” she responded as Shikaru and Becky fell over laughing. “Maybe we should put him in a dumpster along with an artillery shell and let it blow up.” She looked around at everyone. All of them nodded and began laughing some more. Then a long vapor came out of Sansuiri’s nose. The vapor turned out to be his ghost.


“Bury me in a crack house,” it said simply. Tsuyu opened her mouth to argue but Becky beat her to it.


“Okay,” she replied and a wicked gleam came to her eyes. The vapor faded and Becky picked up the body.


“What did you say yes for?” Shikaru asked. Becky smiled mischievously.


“You’ll see.” The other three girls looked at each other and shrugged. About an hour later the four girls and body were at the closest crack house. Becky threw Sansuiri’s corpse and grabbed a shovel out of nowhere.


“You have got to be kidding me; couldn’t we just leave his body here?” owleyes asked. Becky ignored her and began digging. Nearly ten minutes passed and Becky was finished. Tsuyu picked up the corpse and dropped it into the hole and Becky put the dirt back in. A minute of silence later Becky spoke up.


“Let’s go the crack heads are starting to stare.” And indeed they were. Immediately the four did the most logical thing: they ran like hell. Once outside they stopped to regain their breath. That was when Shikaru noticed that Becky wasn’t with them.


“Where the hell did Becky go?”  At that moment Becky came jogging up with a box of matches in her hand.


“What did you just do?” owleyes looked at the matches wearily.


“I just set the crack house on fire but who cares. I have a credit card and I want to go shopping,” Becky waved Shikaru’s question off. If you listened hard you could hear the screams of crackheads burning and possibly Sansuiri cursing all of the girls to hell.


“Okay let’s go,” Tsuyu said and they left for the closest mall. This was conveniently right next to the crack house. The four deviants were in the mall when Becky stopped them.  


“Alright girls I have a plan,” she paused and got them closer together. She began whispering to them and they started giggling uncontrollably. Which earned them a few stares from passerby. “Got it? And let’s meet in the food court in an hour.”  She ordered. Tsuyu, Shikaru and owleyes nodded and took off into the deep labyrinth that was the mall.  Exactly sixty minutes later the four were at a table in the food court laden with shopping bags and (in Tsuyu’s case) a couple of cages. They were currently eating and talking.


“I still think that we should have gone with the white tights,” Shikaru complained playing around with a fry.


“But the black go better with it and the fishnets are a nice touch too,” owleyes said. Tsuyu grunted and pushed a bean burrito with extra beans into one of the cages.


“Hey Tsuyu, why are you giving that thing a burrito?” Shikaru asked.


“The worse its stink is the better for us,” she replied, “plus I got us gas masks so we don’t have to worry about the smell.” Shikaru shrugged. Becky grinned at the amount of bags.


“This is going to be so fun,” she declared.


“Uh huh, but don’t you think that the thong is going a bit overboard?” owleyes wondered out loud.


“No going overboard would be making him have a beard and a pet goat,” Becky said and continued munching on her cookie. Nothing else was said after that. The four deviants soon left the mall and wandered back to the smoldering crack house remains. Becky set her bags down and transformed into a wolf. She walked into the remains and dug up Sansuiri. Luckily the dirt had protected his corpse from any harm. Becky dragged the corpse out and transformed back into a human. Shikaru and owleyes picked up Becky’s bags. Tsuyu’s hands were full with her own bags and the two cages. Becky picked up Sansuiri and walked back towards the mall. The group of four were about to enter the mall but instead they took a left and went to the back of it. Now a few yards away from them was a dumpster which served as a major part of their plan. Becky set Sansuiri down and turned to the other deviants.


“Are we going to…” owleyes trailed off.


“Yes now let’s get to work ladies,” Becky grinned maniacally. The others smiled and went to work.


“Finished!” Tsuyu exclaimed and stepped back. There was Sansuiri tied up hog style wearing a bright and gaudy yellow dress with puffy sleeves, frills and a low neckline. Balloons were stuffed down the front of the dress to make it seem like he had implants or something like that. A horrid looking yellow green jacket was on his shoulders along with a bulky hot pink hand bag with green flowers and ladybugs. His wig consisted of purple hair with hot pink highlights mixed with light pink highlights. Long dangling gold earrings hung to his shoulders. A last minute addition that Tsuyu decided on. His nails were painted with a nasty color that was just actually green, yellow, and black mixed together. Little red hearts were painted onto his nails too. Sansuiri’s toenails had the same thing on them. On his feet were nine inch heels that were a yellow and black mix. Black tights and fishnet were on his legs he also had a thong on but don’t ask about it. Then the final touch was the makeup his cheeks were covered in dark red rouge. His eyes had black liner, yellow eye shadow that varied in color. Black mascara and orange lipstick finished off the look.


“Damn he looks ugly,” Shikaru muttered, except it was slightly muffled by her gas mask. Becky and owleyes nodded.


“Yeah he will make any gay guy scream and run at the sight of him,” Tsuyu replied and held the skunk in her hands. “Now back off and let me spray him.” The other three moved at least twenty feet away. Tsuyu pulled up the skunk’s tail and let it spray Sansuiri. Minutes later she threw the skunk into the dumpster that had stinkbugs and twenty other dead skunks in there along with a few trash bags.  The medic ninja motioned to the others to come closer. Becky came forward first with a digital camera. She snapped a few pictures of Sansuiri and let the other two pick him up. They heaved him into the dumpster and Tsuyu took out a couple of stink bombs. She threw them in and took out a nuclear bomb. She nodded to Becky, Shikaru and owleyes. They immediately transported themselves to a spot a good hundred miles away. Tsuyu took a deep breath and tossed in the nuclear bomb. The brunette got away just in time to see the explosion.
“Now that was freaking awesome!” Becky shouted. Everyone else just nodded. There was nothing to say. When the four deviants came back to the sight they saw that the mall had been blown up too. Oh well not that they really cared. Life was good and that was all that mattered.